NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION UPDATE: WHICH OF THESE RECORDS SHOULD I ATTEMPT FIRST?

Break a Guinness World Record. That’s my 2016 New Year’s resolution, and it’s definitely a lofty goal. To be specific, my objective will be to break a Guinness World Record related to watermelon. Still lofty, but way more fun than attempting a record for, say, the most spoons balanced on your face (the record is 31, in case you were wondering).

Here’s how my journey will work: I’ll likely attempt several records this year and will walk you through a discussion of a particular record and one of my practice sessions. After that blog entry, I’ll practice some more and then write about my official world record attempt before moving on to another watermelon record.

For my inaugural record attempt; however, I’d like to get all of you involved by letting YOU choose which of the official Guinness World Records below should be first on my to-do list. Leave a comment with which one I should attempt first, and I’ll get to work next week by training for my brush with watermelon world record immortality.

1. MOST PAPER AIRCRAFT THROWN INTO WATERMELONS IN ONE MINUTE – This record is exactly what it sounds like — just throwing pointy paper airplanes and getting them to stick in watermelon. The current record is 12, held by Junguk Lee of South Korea. I haven’t made a paper airplane in about 15 years, but I think I can make a serious attempt at this one.
2. MOST WATERMELONS CRUSHED WITH THE HEAD IN ONE MINUTE – I get a splitting headache just thinking about this record attempt. (And I get downright terrified when I watch this video.) But, if I must attempt it, I will. By the way, the record is 43 watermelons smashed. It was set by a thick-skulled gentleman named Tafzi Ahmed of Germany.
3. MOST WATERMELONS CHOPPED ON THE STOMACH IN ONE MINUTE – First of all, I’m not sure what Guinness means by “chopped” (they’ll provide specific guidance for all official attempts). Do I have to hold a watermelon on my stomach and let someone chop it with a knife? If so, please don’t vote for this one. If it means someone will be karate-chopping the watermelon with a hand, that’s a little better, I suppose. The record — whatever the chopping method may be — is 48, set by Bipin Larkin and Ashrita Furman in Jamaica, New York.
4. FASTEST TIME TO CRUSH THREE WATERMELONS WITH THE THIGHS – What’s with all the watermelon violence in these records? Impaled with paper airplanes, smashed with heads, chopped with who-knows-what, and now crushed with thighs. Thigh strength isn’t my strong suit, but if you’d like me to take a shot at breaking Ukrainian Olga Liashchuk’s record of 14.65 seconds, I’ll do it.

UP NEXT: MARCH PRIZE